Soft is the New Strong

We lounged on comfy chairs as we chatted and ate our way through the menu at Xport, the rooftop bar at the Porter Hotel in downtown Portland (highly recommend, totally not an ad). Rebecca, Haley and I were discussing friendship and comparison. We've all compared ourselves to other women, even our best friends. How ridiculous, we mused. 

Just a week before, we'd collaborated on a portrait shoot, featuring Haley. Rebecca and I were astonished to learn that Haley was feeling like sh*t the day of the shoot, which was kind of funny, because we each had our own dramas going on that day too. When we all came together, though, we focused on the creative task ahead of us: make awesome portraits. 

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Haley is a beauty entrepreneur, mentoring other women in self confidence and health-conscious skin care. Haley sees comparison rearing its ugly head all the time as she works with the women on her team. Deeply embedded beliefs like "I could never do that", "I'm not confident like you are", "I'm terrified of speaking to people", "She's so much better/prettier/more talented than I am, I can't compete with that". 


My biggest fear going into the shoot was not feeling beautiful or confident. I didn’t like the way my body looked or felt. Then, I felt really valued by what Karilyn was able to capture in these photos. I felt seen, which felt very vulnerable, while feeling understood.

The problem with this these thoughts are that they're automatic. Right? I mean, you don't wake up and say "I'm going to think negative things about myself all day today." We don't choose our thoughts. But we do choose whether or not we will BELIEVE these thoughts. I'm working on another blog post about this very subject that will be posted soon....keep an eye out for that! 

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It didn't take Haley long to warm up to the camera and let her natural confidence shine. As I guided her through each pose, I saw something in her eyes change. They were like little vaults that unlocked and opened to reveal herself. She started to let herself be seen. That's a very vulnerable position to be in, but there's also so much strength that comes from that place. That softness is her strength.

Can you see it?


Ok, fine, it's the makeup. The magic is in the makeup. Which, by the way, Haley did herself. Wanna know what her secret is?

Tint Skin Hydrating Foundation

Touchup Skin Concealer Pen

Color Define Brow Pencil

Lengthening Mascara

Ultimate Nudes Eyeshadow Palette

Powder Blush Duo

Color Intense Lipstick

Also check out this beauty basic starter kit: Flawless In Five

Go follow Haley on Instagram @FashionedToBeYou and learn more about why she loves what she does. 

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Thank you Haley, for being vulnerable. You're amazing. Thank you Rebecca, for supporting this shoot with your presence and energy!